Painting Mental Pictures with Specific Details

Week of February 6—The Devil’s in the Details

Friday, February 11—Painting Mental Pictures with Specific Details

I guess it’s no secret that I am a picture book junkie. Right now I’m trying to place all my picture books in one location (instead of my office at school, my home office, filing cabinets, the living room, under the bed . . . ). But now there aren’t enough shelves!

When I read I’m always finding specific details that cause me to stop and read and reread. I have one of those moments when I think: How in the world did he/she do that? Then I sit for ages analyzing the passage to see what writing crafts the author used to create the passage filled with details. The specific details in some books draw me back again and again to read and study and experiment with what I see the author doing. One of those books I mentioned Wednesday—One Tiny Turtle by Nicola Davies and Jane Chapman. Just look at this excerpt.

Passing in a boat, you might not notice Turtle. Not much bigger than a bottle cap, she hides in the green shadows. She is a baby, so her shell is soft as old leather. Just a little fish bite could rip it open. But Turtle is safe in her world of weed, and snaps her beak on tiny crabs and shrimps.

From: One Tiny Turtle by Nicola Davies and Jane Chapman

The specific details in this passage make me envious. At the same time, I know there’s nothing that Nicola did that I can’t learn to do after lots of practice. So this is when I start analyzing the passage. Come along and I’ll show you my nerdy process!

Passing in a boat—introductory phrase that also immediately establishes setting

might not notice—a bit of foreshadowing of the smallness about to be described

Turtle—capping this word gives the main character a name of sorts

Not much bigger than a bottle cap—This specific detail makes a comparison I can relate to. I now know exactly the size of the turtle.

she hides in the green shadows—Beautiful—a sensory detail, an attribute adjective, and a specific detail all wrapped up in six words

her shell is soft as old leather—Simile and sensory details combine to make this specific detail. Strange I have seen and touched turtle shells and never knew any were soft as old leather.

her shell—Nicola keeps reminding me that this particular Loggerhead is a female. That’s important because the author is going to show us the entire life-cycle. Reminding me that the turtle is a “she” prepares me for where the story is headed.

Just a little fish bite could rip it open—I would expect a shark to be able to rip a turtle shell, but this shell is so soft even a little fish can do it. Great detail.

safe in her world of weed—The alliteration adds to the specific setting detail.

snaps her beak on tiny crabs and shrimps—Oh, now I know this little creature isn’t totally helpless.

One passage filled with specific details. Nicola Davies had to be totally immersed in her subject to write these details. Her research had to be impeccable. Do I need to have that same level of knowledge for my fiction writing? Most likely if I want to take my writing to this same level.

It’s Your Turn

1. Read the passage below from One Tiny Turtle. Analyze the specific details for yourself and see what you discover that you can use in your writing.

A year or two later she turns up close to land. Bigger than a dinner plate now, she’s not a fish snack anymore. Her shell is hard as armor. Her head is tough as a helmet. She’s grown into her name: Loggerhead.

From: One Tiny Turtle by Nicola Davies and Jane Chapman